It’s time for another Kpopalypse roundup – let’s take a look at some new releases!
U-KISS
AOA ft. Takanori Nishikawa – Give Me The Love
Sorry that I held back on this one but I needed to find some audio for the radio show that was of playable quality and didn’t have car noises in it every 2 seconds before I could play it, and with Japanese releases that’s always a longer process. No great loss to wait an extra week if you ask me as the song isn’t really anything that great.
Up10tion – Attention
This song I held back last week too and it didn’t really make an impression on me either but seriously this has to be the year’s best choreography so far.
Lovelyz – Destiny
I’m not sure where people are getting “j-pop influences” from – the strings, circle of fifths progression and hook are all straight out of 1970s disco-pop-lite, but then I guess most k-pop fans’ music listening doesn’t even go there.
Twice – Cheer Up
Twice have a second mediocre stab at reworking Shannon Williams’ great “Why Why“, right down to the reggae-lite bridge this time. The light and shade in the arrangement is welcome but overall it’s just a bit messy and clearly not working out for them, maybe something different is in order next time (just not a Fender Rhodes-driven ballad kthx).
Seventeen – Pretty U
This one’s nothing awful or anything but so unremarkable that even Seventeen’s own fans are unimpressed by it.
Lee Hi – My Star
Aiming for a “Lion Heart“/”Sugar Sugar” style retro thing here, but they try to make Lee Hi carry it on her blues-bends alone instead of writing a proper song.
VIXX – Dynamite
VIXX’s songwriters have a half-assed crack at the type of thing that SHINee has been doing lately.
Berry Good – Angel
Actually this is really good and I’m now going to pretend that all their shit songs between “Love Letter” and this one didn’t happen. Dunno about those vocal breakdowns near the end though.
Sugardonut – Imagine, Close Your Eyes
Not really into the dull Coldplay/Mumford & Sons-ish verses, but they’re just a build up to an incredibly kick-ass chorus and keyboard riff. Also the dancing duo are fantastic, they’re like a k-pop version of that great “idgaf” industrial dance couple.
Jambinai – They Keep Silence
Korea are generally hopeless at rock, with almost everything sounding like a watered-down, pussified, wimpy weak knock-off of similar western artists custom-made for a generation of softies. Jambinai are the exception. Hold onto your fucking genitals before you click play on this one, you Fender Rhodes ballad-liking pussies.
BONUS SONGS
Eunji – Hopefully Sky
I didn’t forget this song, I just didn’t play it last week because it’s fucking shit and I wasn’t going to play it this week either. Grating harmonica all throughout is the diarrhoea-icing on a terrifying shit-cake.
Choyoung – Our Thing
God that piano sounds like crap, like a $200 entry-level weighted-keyboard student piano synth being played through a practice amp. Some better production wouldn’t have hurt.
MBLAQ – Say Love
Typical sleepy restaurant ballad, nothing to see here.
Vibe ft. Gummy – 1 Year (365 Days)
And again. Move along, everyone.
Louie (Geeks) ft. Yook Sung Jae (BTOB) – On The Four-Lane Road
All I got from this video is that there’s too many cars in Korea, and there’s also too many songs like this.
RESULTS OF THE TWITTER COMPETITION
Actually there were at least eight (probably even more than that), but here’s the four I was looking for:
BeautyHandsome – The One
Just to prove what I was saying in my other post that a Fender Rhodes shitball really does come out each and every fucking week in k-pop, here’s one I randomly found.
Hobby – Love Fool
Nobody is too nugu for Fender Rhodes.
Ken ft. U-Prime, Skolor, ONDO – Fine
Awful Fender Rhodes turds aren’t just for the pop end of the spectrum, Korean rappers also use it to make their beats soft and boring.
Melo & Eden – No One Like You
Even trap is not exempt! The only reason why every single Kpopalypse roundup since the series begun doesn’t have a Rhodes song is just because I tend to skip over most of them because I assume nobody gives a shit. Nobody won the competition because with such a high density of this crap coming out each and every week in Korea winning such a competition is impossible, there are too many options – which was of course the whole point of having such a competition, to point this out.
EVEEN MORE BONUS FENDER RHODES GARBAGE
Bizzy ft. Bumzu – All I Need
The Rhodes takes a while to appear here. This song quotes Notorious B.I.G’s “Hypnotise“, which does it no favours because it only reminds the listener how much better that song is than this one. “Hypnotise” isn’t just better but it doesn’t have any Rhodes, not a coincidence.
Defconn – No More Pain
The keyboard that starts this one off is actually a different type, but once the beat kicks in the Rhodes starts gradually working its way in, like a subway molester moving their hand up your leg.
Goofy – Old Song
A better keyboard choice and less singy-songy chorus bullshit and this song (and hundreds of others just like it) might’ve even turned out okay. Fuck rappers who go “smooth”.
Oh and there’s Rhodes in that Seventeen song too, although you have to listen close to hear it. That’s EIGHT Rhodes comebacks just in this post! If you love the sound of the Rhodes it’s your lucky week, for everyone else let’s hope this sound falls out of fashion soon!
That’s it for another Kpopalypse roundup – more next week!
Tagged: roundup
