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Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 2/5/2016

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It’s time for another Kpopalypse roundup!  Let’s take a look at this week’s new releases!

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BTS – Fire

At least uptempo boy-band-by-numbers is better than downtempo boy-band-by-numbers.  Here at Kpopalypse HQ we have to be grateful for small mercies.

CocoSori – Exquisite!

CocoSori continue on their path as Orange Caramel 2.0 with twice the forced-viral gimmicky bullshit and half the songwriting/production skill.  Oh well, at least it’s fast, so it’s over quickly.

Apink – The Wave

I love the bit where the Apink girls sing over the white text backdrop that lists all their much better songs that you’ll wish you were listening to instead.

Gfriend – Wave

I love it how there’s a shred guitar solo in every Gfriend song.  Seems like the girls share their dorm with the most frustrated metal guitarist ever.

April – Tinker Bell

April are back, complete with short skirts, labia-tone lipstick, and easily their best song yet.  Just don’t tell Chris Hansen.

Park Boram – Dynamic Love

Of course she has to have “Park” in there to differentiate herself from the One True Boram.

OTOT – OO

Don’t ask, I have no idea either.  But this is cool so FUCK you.

Inlayer – Mindjack

I guess SM Station ran out of shit ballads so they wheeled in this Animals As Leaders style prog-metal group.  For once I actually want to hear what something sounds like with Taeyeon’s voice over the top.

XL Squad – We The Future

They may look like high-schoolers squinting in the sunlight after stepping out of an 18-hour Starcraft 2 marathon, but the beats are great.  Shit is real in Korea’s gaming cafes.

Vidan – Wishes Of The Rings

This ballad is pretty good and probably deserves its own post to help explain why and how Korea gets this type of thing oh-so-very-wrong 99% of the time.

BONUS SONGS

Lamb C – Home (Closer)

They think pairing this shit Rhodes ballad with driving footage will “relax” us but we all remember Ladies Code and now I just want to listen to Slayer and chug heaps of caffeine.

Babylon ft. Dok2 -Between Us

Fender Rhodes AND Dok2.  Mathematically, it could only be worse if it also had a dubstep harmonica section.

Lou.de – Disrespectful Breakup

With the still picture of guitars in a grimy run-down room plus that group name I half-expected some actual loud rock music here.  Silly me.

Hyuna & Hyemi (Nine Muses) – Confession

Well, this is boring.  Next.

No Brain – Living Paycheck To Paycheck

No Brain always sound a bit watered down to me, like a very polite Rancid, and politeness has no place in music like this.

Megan Lee – Stronger

America already has Katy Perry so this is a waste of time musically, but watching Megan caterwaul about how Kim Tae Woo is probably a fuckwit is kinda cool.  Fuck g.o.d, fuck them in the ass.

Yesung – Here I Am

Ugh.

J-Block – Like A Shower

A shower of what, is the question.

Mighty Mouth ft. Soya – Nice 2 Meet U

Any rap song with “Nice 2 Meet U” as the title is obviously going to be shit. Go hard or go home, kids.

Tao – The Road

Tao knows all about going hard, having experienced the hard life in SM, represented in this video as a gang of faceless corporate thugs.  10/10 for accuracy.


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