Help Kpopalypse become prettier

It’s been quite a while since Kpopalypse has turned 20, so I think some beauty care on this site is overdue.  Read on to help Kpopalypse decide the new layout of Kpopalypse blog!

The layout that Kpopalypse blog debuted with in December 2012 was a theme called “Black Letterhead”.  Here is how the site would look right now with the original Kpopalypse layout (ignore the blue circles, they’re artifacts of the “preview” mode):

Only a few of you readers would have seen this layout, as I changed it way back in 2013, long before the site gained even the small amount of popularity that it has now.  The main attributes of this layout:

• Ugly
• Messy
• Weirdly skinny, not much screen real-estate used
• Awful fonts that suck ass
• Light text on a black background gave half of my readers a migraine
• Probably looked like shit on mobile phones, not that I ever tested it
• Lagged like a bitch
• At least I felt cool because my site was black

Right now I’m using a theme called “Suits”, which looks like this:

This theme is definitely a step up.  Notable attributes:

• Reasonably okay to look at
• Runs decently quick
• More efficient use of space
• Title/heading font still kinda sucks
• Picture captions look terrible
• As least it’s readable overall and doesn’t make people want to murder me (the content should do that, not the design)
• Grey background that I added so I could not get eyestrain while reading late at night is nice
• Arguably lost some of the uniqueness of the site

However I feel that it’s still not quite what I’m looking for.  Here’s the things that I really want out of a Kpopalypse blog layout:

• Pretty – must be prettier than the result of a visit to SM Entertainment’s jawbone-scraper
• Simple – I don’t want fancy trendy multi scroll up the ass flashy weird fucking bullshit thanks
• Clear – there’s enough esoteric bullshit on my blogsite without also making the layout confusing
• Has a sidebar – don’t worry Yooa you’re not going anywhere (especially not L.A.)
• Cheap – I’d like to not pay for my theme if possible
• Gay – people should look at the site and say “that Kpopalypse sure is one hell of a faggot bitch”

Below are all the possible theme candidates that I have found, that meet at most/all of these criteria.  Once again, ignore the blue pencil icons on all of these images, those don’t appear in the final product.  Keep in mind that these themes are customisable but only to a certain extent, I’ll probably be able to change background colours etc but particular fonts and sizing are tied to the theme and probably can’t be changed.  Also note that these images are not exactly to scale.

Theme: Adelle

• Pretty – yes.  Don’t know about that weird black bar at the top but I can deal.  “Your mum” sadly absent.
• Simple – yes.  Not a radical departure from what I’ve already got.
• Clear – yes.  Probably clearer than what I have now.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – title font, fancy dividers and general pinkness does meet required standards of fagginess.

Theme: Comet

• Pretty – kind of.  I think the title fonts could be better, most of the rest is okay.
• Simple – yes.  Not a radical departure from what I’ve already got.
• Clear – yes.  Probably clearer than what I have now, but maybe just a bit too spacious between each post.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – I feel that this theme, while gay, doesn’t meet the gayness of some of the other themes on offer.

Theme: Elegant Grunge

• Pretty – The stained “grunge” (?) look is nice, like Sunny wearing a flanellete shirt with a tight white T-shirt underneath.  However I don’t like the narrowness especially when most readers have widescreen desktops these days.
• Simple – yes.
• Clear – kind of.  The title font is too big to look neat with some of my wordier post headings.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – grunge definitely was a musical movement for faggots so I feel that this theme is gay enough to satisfy my special needs.

Theme: Elemin

• Pretty – yes, really nice overall with everything included, makes me jizz.
• Simple – yes.
• Clear – yes.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – NO!  I have to pay $125 for this shit, would you believe?  However, if I get $125 of Patreon money per year I’ll consider this.
• Gay – pleasingly faggy title font and general feel.

Theme: Everbrite multi-event

• Pretty – reasonably good but the sidebar is a bit meh and seems too wide.
• Simple – yes.
• Clear – title font maybe a little small.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – falls a little short on the faggot bitch scale, sadly.  Zico would not approve.

Theme: Libretto

• Pretty – pure sex, I am barring up right now looking at this.  Your mum is absent but maybe lucky for you.
• Simple – yes.
• Clear – yes.
• Has a sidebar – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – looks as faggy as the graphic design on those 4AD releases in the 80s.  I approve.

Theme: Lovebirds

• Pretty – yes, although I could do without the two birds in the cage.  Maybe if I could replace them with Hyomin and Eunjung making out.  Also this theme is a no MILF zone.
• Simple – basic enough.
• Clear – a little messy, plus any titles in all-caps look like absolute unreadable shit.
• Has a sidebar – yes, although I’m not keen about having it on the left side.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – gold-star faggotry!  There is no chance of me being identified as heterosexual if I use this theme.

Theme: Nucleare

• Pretty – yes, very nice design really.  However no visible tags or mothers which is a shame.
• Simple – yes.
• Clear – yes.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – could be faggier but I feel that it’s just gay enough to get over the line.  An under-the-table hand-shandy rather than an anal fisting.

Theme: Plane

• Pretty – reasonably good but the title and sidebar fonts are a bit bland like what I’m already using.  No mum.
• Simple – yes.
• Clear – divider between posts is a bit too nothingy.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – definitely a little lacking in gayness which is disappointing.

Theme: Silesia

• Pretty – acceptable but kind of dull.  No sign of Boram.  Blue blog icons look a bit shit.
• Simple – yes.
• Clear – yes.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – very heterosexual, does not meet required standards.

Theme: Truly Minimal

• Pretty – a little bit too minimal for its own good.  No mum.
• Simple – yes.
• Clear – yes.
• Has a sidebar – yes.
• Cheap – yes.
• Gay – disappointingly straight-looking, probably doesn’t stay out after 6pm.

You’ll notice that all these themes are reasonably similar, and that’s because I’m after a specific kind of look.  Which one should I choose?  Click below to do a short two-question survey and help Kpopalypse become pretty and gay to help increase his popularity hugely!