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Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 13/6/2016

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Your best friend, Kpopalypse roundup is back!  Let’s look at some new releases!

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EXO – Monster

This is pretty much “Overdose” part 2, and reasonably okay, although it could use a little speeding up.

EXO – Lucky One

I’m the only person I can find who thinks that this song and “Monster” are roughly equal quality.  “Lucky One” drags a bit but it also has better instrumentation, if all funk in k-pop had this much balls I wouldn’t rag on it so much.

Taeyeon – Atlantis Princess

In this first-person video you’re running along with Taeyeon to some mystery destination but you never quite get there, instead you’re stuck among the wilderness forever.  Which is pretty much how I feel about this song.

U-Kiss – Stalker

Now that SHINee have gone the f(x) generic dancey boredom route, U-Kiss are muscling in on their old turf and actually doing a pretty good job.  Whoever wrote that verse melody should be slapped with a music theory book though.

Lee Jin Ah – I’m Full

I’m tired of this “organic” trend in k-pop but this is still marginally better than the last seven or eight Mamamoo songs.

SS310 – Ah-ha

Once again the vocal melodies are the problem with this OH&S compliant rocker, everything else is great, I’m especially digging the 80s EBM sound it starts with (not a typo).

Guckkasten – Pulse

Hey Guckkasten are pretty good.  Of course he has to insert some vocal showponying into it to appeal to the k-pop vocalfag crowd, but hey it actually fits here, and in any event I can take the good with the bad.

Tiffany & Simon Dominic – Heartbreak Hotel

Damn, it looks like Simon Dominic was her best friend after all.

BONUS SONGS

Boys 24 – Rising Star

If someone tells you “those k-pop boy groups all look the same”, show them this and tell them that you really like the one in the middle.

The Idolmaster A Team – Dream

Generic dancey k-pop early Apink clone song TV show bullshit clearing house entry.

The Idolmaster B Team – One For All

Generic dancey k-pop early SNSD clone song TV show bullshit clearing house entry.

Sleeq – Liquor

It’s like listening to Eminem, she might be skilled but it’s just fucking irritating like a fly buzzing around your ear.

Drug Restaurant – Mistake

That bass player is doing some serious headbanging for a song that doesn’t really go all that hard.  Who is the bitchy girl in the video though, she meets required standards.

Jinwoon ft. Tiger JK – Will

This song has great sounds but they just decided to make a really boring song with them.

J-Star, Jungah – Spring Summer

Jungah is 33 and if you look at her face you can really see the scars of the industry.  I swear there’s two gigantic channels on her face where the tears must’ve been flowing every night while Kahi screamed at her Full Metal Jacket style.

D.Zyne ft. Kangnam – Simply In Love

Here’s your weekly Fender Rhodes shitball that didn’t meet required standards for airplay.  Enjoy.

Ben – Like A Dream

And here’s your token generic slow ballad of +4 boredom inducing.

Urban Zakapa – I Don’t Love You

Urban Zakapa are utter shit, no redeeming features at all.  Everyone wanks themselves to death over this band but really, the music they make is cancer.  Maybe Skrillex can write them a song so they can disband afterward, seems to have worked for 4Minute.

Youngji – Sober

I just want to run up to her, give her an asthma puffer and say “there there, it’s okay, just use this, you can stop murdering our ears now”.


That’s it for another Kpopalypse roundup!  More new releases next week!


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