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The Kpopalypse 2017 Objectification Survey results part 2 of 4 – best ASSES in k-pop

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It’s time for the second round of Kpopalypse Obejctification Survey results!  Let’s take a look at who has the best asses in k-pop, according to Kpopalypse readers!

The 2017 Kpopalypse Objectification Survey used more categories and a new, more nuanced scoring system for greater objectification accuracy.  Respondents were asked to list three people in each category, in preference order with best first.  The scoring system was thus:

  • Your first choice was weighted 100% higher than your second choice
  • Your second choice was weighted 66% higher than your third choice
  • If you doubled or tripled on choices, only the first choice was counted
  • Choices after the third were disregarded in all cases

Scores were then tallied to give the final result across all categories.  The four results posts are as follows:

Part 1: FEMALE BOOBS and MALE ABS/TORSO

Part2: FEMALE and MALE ASSES – this post

Part 3: FEMALE and MALE LEGS – results coming soon

Part 4: OVERALL MOST ATTRACTIVE FEMALES and MALES – results coming soon


BEST FEMALE ASSES

#1 – SEOLHYUN – AOA

594 points

(2016 position – #1)

For the third year running, AOA’s Seolhyun proves that the pretty asses are AOA.  Haters may be upset with her lack of historic knowledge, but remember that you can’t spell “history classes” without “ass”.

#2 – CHOA – EX-AOA

533 points

(2016 position – #3)

It’s possible that the recent high-profile departure of Choa from AOA may have influenced voters, but if there’s one thing that hasn’t departed it’s Choa herself from the thoughts of ass fans.

#3 – YURA – GIRL’S DAY

423 points

(2016 position – #2)

Yura is seemingly destined to never win #1 on any Kpopalypse poll ever, I’m calling it the “Curse of Yura”.  Nevertheless despite slipping a place in the polls Yura still put on a strong showing which was particularly impressive given that she’s basically done nothing all year.

#4 – DAHYE – BESTIE

369 points

(2016 position – #4)

Speaking of doing absolutely fuck-all, who knows where BESTie are these days.  Dahye obviously made a lasting impression on k-pop fappers to not even drop any spots on this list despite being stuck in nugu purgatory for the entire year.

#5 – HWASA – MAMAMOO

283 points

(2016 position – #6)

Avid Frenchfacer Hwasa moves up, proving her continued relevance to Kpopalypse readers.  Clearly all those long bread sticks have gone to a good place.

#6 – MOMO – TWICE

200 points

(2016 position – #9)

Due no doubt to their rising fame, Twice members performed better than last year across all categories of the objectification survey, and Momo’s placing as a front-runner of behinds was no exception.

#7 – SOYOU – EX-SISTAR

193 points

(2016 position – #7)

There wasn’t much movement in the ass poll overall in 2017 compared to the previous year.  However relevant movement was still detected in Soyou’s lower half.

#8 – HYOMIN – T-ARA

134 points

(2016 position – #12)

People were happy to see T-ara back this year, and they were also happy to see T-ara’s Hyomin’s back.

#9 – SUA – DREAMCATCHER

128 points

(2016 position – did not chart)

Every list seems to have one breakout new entrant and for the female ass poll it was Dreamcatcher’s Sua, who made no impression on the polls when she was in Minx.  I’m not sure what changed, but Kpopalypse readers sure noticed, rocketing her into the top ten.

#10 – BORA – EX-SISTAR

116 points

(2016 position – #10)

Like groupmate Soyou, Bora also managed to maintain her place in the ass poll from last year despite her group falling apart like Dasom’s prolapsed anus after too much buttfucking.

#11 – HYOSUNG – SECRET

112 points

(2016 position – #5)

While still the dominant force in k-pop tits, there’s just too much competition in ass for Hyosung to compete now, as she slowly slips out of the top ten.  A lack of schedules for her and her group probably didn’t help.

#12 – HYUNA – EX-4MINUTE

100 points

(2016 position – #11)

Also someone known more for boobs, Hyuna still carried enough lower-half impact to place respectably in the ass poll this year.

#13 – NAEUN – APINK

99 points

(2016 position – #15)

Rounding out this list of ass appreciation is Apink’s Naeun, whose “innocent” image fooled k-pop fans for precisely as long as it took for you to read this.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

#14 – Hyorin – ex-Sistar

#15 – Mijoo – Lovelyz

#16 – Yoohyeon – Dreamcatcher

#17 – Cheng Xiao – WJSN

#18 – Jiyeon – T-ara

#19 – Nayoung – Pristin

#20 – Yooa – Oh My Girl

#21 – Hani – EXID

#22 – Nada – ex-Wassup

#23 – Tiffany – Girls’ Generation

#24 – Yuri – Girls’ Generation

#25 – Gain – Brown Eyed Girls

#26 – Eunji – Apink

#27 – Jei – Fiestar

#28 – Sana – Twice

#29 – Chaeyeon – DIA

#30 – CL – 2NE1

#31 – Soobin – WJSN

#32 – Minhee – Stellar

#33 – Kyungri – Nine Muses

#34 – Lee Hyori

#35 – Arin – Oh My Girl

#36 – Uji – BESTie

#37 – Eunha – Gfriend

#38 – Krystal – f(x)

#39 – Seungyeon – CLC

#40 – Johyun – Berry Good

#41 – Chungha – IOI

#42 – Jennie – Blackpink

#43 – Yezi – Fiestar

#44 – Amber – f(x)


Now it’s time to turn the tables and assess the best male asses of 2017 according to Kpopalypse readers!

BEST MALE ASSES

#1 – JIMIN – BTS

722 points

(2016 position – #1)

Jimin from BTS owns the k-pop ass category as decisively as Hyosung owns female boobs, racking up twice as many votes as his nearest two competitors.  Who knows how long he will remain dominant in this category for.  His victory here was so certain that some voters even complained in the poll about others inevitably voting for Jimin, which was as endearing as it was completely futile and pointless, but hopefully it made some of you feel better about your bias losing.

#2 – JUNHO – 2PM

304 points

(2016 position – #3)

After being knocked into third place last year, 2PM’s Junho has crept back into the #2 spot.  I’m not sure how he did it, but I guess you can’t keep a good ass down.

#3 – SEHUN – EXO

211 points

(2016 position – #2)

Meanwhile Sehun has been knocked down a peg into third position.  Who knows why the shift away from Sehun this year, maybe ass-appreciating caonimas can shed some light on this important development.

#4 – WONHO – MONSTA X

203 points

(2016 position – #28)

Monsta X fans weren’t mucking about in 2017 and got quickly down to the business of voting for Wonho.  That, or his ass presentation was just so good over the last 12 months that Kpopalypse readers couldn’t help but be swayed by the Wonho butt.

#5 – SHOWNU – MONSTA X

123 points

(2016 position – #11)

In 2016 I couldn’t even find any good Shownu pictures or video footage.  That wasn’t a problem this year, as k-pop fans discovered the Shownu ass en masse.

#6 – JUNSU – JYJ

120 points

(2016 position – #4)

There’ll be no SM-style boycotts of JYJ members on Kpopalypse blog, as Junsu shows that they still have what it takes to compete with SM’s best, at least in the ass category.  Lee Soo Man, removing this entry will cost you $4000 in Patreon donations per month.

#7 – N (HAKYEON) – VIXX

105 points

(2016 position – #7)

I always thought VIXX were still a bit nugu but they’ve proven that they’re no nugus in the ass category, with N maintaining his 2016 top ten ranking.

#8 – SHINDONG – SUPER JUNIOR

101 points

(2016 position – #12)

Okay, so his ass isn’t in this picture, but he’s probably photographing one. Do you know how hard it is to find good Shindong ass pics?

Whoever coined the phrase “less is more” probably wasn’t a Shindong fan, who consistently brings his “more is more” approach to k-pop, much to the appreciation of many Kpopalypse readers.

#9 – JINYOUNG – GOT7

80 points

(2016 position – #30)

Jinyoung (formerly Jr.) moved up a ton of places in this year’s chart and I have no idea why, but I reckon the guy with the blonde hair between his legs in the above picture knows all too well.

#10 – JUNGKOOK – BTS

75 points

(2016 position – #8)

Jungkook takes a small dip in popularity this year, maybe all the BTS fans have been distracted by Jimin.

#11 – JACKSON – GOT7

74 points

(2016 position – #6)

Jackson takes a dive this year in the polls but there’s no doubt hat GOT7 are still punching above their weight in terms of providing fans of k-pop guys with fappable ass.

#12 – MINHO – SHINEE

65 points

(2016 position – #5)

Another top ten ass pushed out due to hot new competition, SHINee maybe need some more comebacks to ascend again, or at least some more Kpopalypse fanfictions.

#13 – DOOJOON – HIGHLIGHT

61 points

(2016 position – #14)

Highlight’s Doojoon just scrapes into “image-worthy” 13th place, something he never quite managed when his group were called Beast, proving that his old label made a grave mistake by not respecting the ass!

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

#14 – Rain

#15 – Seungkwan – Seventeen

#16 – L (Myungsoo) – Infinite

#17 – Kai – EXO

#18 – Jongup – BAP

#19 – B-Bomb – Block B

#20 – Daesung – BigBang

#21 – Dongwoo – Infinite

#22 – Jooheon – Monsta X

#23 – Chen – EXO

#24 – Onew – SHINee

#25 – Xiumin – EXO

#26 – Ken – VIXX

#27 – Baekhyun – EXO

#28 – Seungri – BigBang

#29 – Sungjong – Infinite

#30 – TOP – BigBang

#31 – Baekho – Nu’est

#32 – Kang Daniel – Wanna One

#33 – Key – SHINee

#34 – Leejoon – MBLAQ

#35 – S.Coups – Seventeen

#36 – V – BTS

#37 – Sungmin – Super Junior

#38 – Hongbin – VIXX

#39 – Jonghyun – SHINee

#40 – Suga – BTS

#41 – Woosung – Snuper

#42 – D.O – EXO

#43 – D.K – Seventeen

#44 – Jinwoo – Winner


That’s all the asses for 2017 – part three coming soon!


Filed under: your mum Tagged: fap

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