It’s time once again for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some more new releases!
Scan-dol of the week – Lizzy (After School/Orange Caramel)
EXO – Power
If you want to see some of those “stand on your head and drink tea” YouTube click-campaign posts that I was talking about in my “idol support” article, you’ll find plenty in this video’s comments. In the meantime this song won’t set the world on fire but at least it avoids most of the usual shit trends that are in k-pop right now.
Eunji – Manito
Is she trying out for the new Busker Busker lineup, this garbage certainly sounds like it.
Day6 – I Loved You
If you really loved me, you’d perform better songs.
Pentagon – Like This
Starts boring, and then builds into boring.
MXM (Brand New Boys) – I’m The One
I sense a long stay in nugudom for this group.
Flashe – Popping
Arguably there’s a potentially good song here but it’s completely ruined by some of the worst production choices imaginable.
B.A.P – Honeymoon
It’s alright I suppose but even B.A.P fans will admit that B.A.P have done much better than this.
Yoona – When The Wind Blows
And the shock of the week is that the new Yoona is a new acoustic semi-ballad AND it doesn’t suck. And I had my “when the song blows” joke all prepared and everything.
BONUS SONGS
Soyou – The Blue Night Of Jeju Island
The crap female solos just keep coming. It’s like when every k-pop group disbands it divides into tiny cancerous fragments.
VMC – Tik Tok
Playing the Asian servers on Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds is exactly like this.
10cm – Pet
Why is the puppy wearing baby clothes. It’s not a fucking human you freak.
Seenroot – Together
When that beat started I thought “damn I hate those stupid video intros with the logos and shit” and then I realised that this was the actual song.
San E, Penomeco, Microdot, Kebee – Fresh Up
None of this fits together, it’s just weird. Can all of these people just stop it.
Hangzoo ft. Gaeko – Best Driver
This song makes me want to take the bus.
Zia – Sad Eyes
This person had Hwasnake in their video once. A good enough reason to dislike this song as any other.
Na Aram & Seha – Ennui
I’d like to beat the shit out of some crappy Korean pop composers too.
Koh Nayoung – Stars
When is this shit trend going to die. I’m counting the days.
Rocoberry – Broken Heart
She looks about as interested in this as I am.
Novadox – In My Sight
Does not meet Flying V inclusion standards.
Dasom Hyung – Think I Wanted To Be
I’ll do that post one day about why jazz is all shit. In the meantime, here’s example 6827b.
M To M – A Wind Of You
Is this song really about farts? It certainly sounds like it just escaped from someone’s anus.
Sleepy ft. Bloo, Liquor k.jr – So What
This cover of the Anti Nowhere League classic seems to have lost a lot of what made the original great. They really shouldn’t have taken out the “I fucked a goat” line.
Shin Hye Sung – Still There
Another boring song to scratch off the ever-shortening list of things I care about.
SPECIAL BONUS RETRO SONG
Beast – Beautiful Night
This was back in 2012 when every k-pop boy group ever wanted to sound like BigBang’s “Still Alive” album, which is a lot better than what we have nowadays where they all want to sound like either a z-grade Soulja Boy or some “tropical” bullshit. Some people do have rose-coloured glasses though.
No you dumbass. There were plenty of fanwars back then, in fact the most notorious of all fanwars date from the Golden Age period and immediately before/after. You just weren’t following them as closely back then. Gradually, bit by bit, trashy k-pop websites that prioritise stupid bullshit above music slowly sucked you into following the media gossip circus shit-show and now you spend almost all of your time reading about what some k-pop singer did or didn’t do or maybe did and forget to listen to the actual music that got you here in the first place. Hopefully these roundups are helping to drag you back onto the right path. You’re welcome.
That’s all for Kpopalypse roundup for this week – more new songs next week!
Filed under: your mum Tagged: roundup
