KPOPALYPSE presents THE GREATEST K-POP ASS MASTERPIECES OF 2015

It’s been a year since the last Kpopalypse ass post, so that means we’re due for an update!  What’s changed in the world of k-pop ass?  Which k-pop asses are generating the highest amount of faps?

The results from the Kpopalypse ass survey are in and it’s time to find out the greatest k-pop ass masterpieces of 2015!  Read on and discover the trufax about k-pop ass!

WARNING: post contains lots of high quality GIFS of ass, they take a while to load!

I wanted to do another ass post, but I’m not really an ass-fapping kind of guy, I’m more of a boobs man, that’s why my boobs posts are my own selections whereas my ass posts are popular vote decided by surveys.  So I’ve decided to make the ass surveys a yearly thing and I’ll do them at roughly the end of every financial year.  Lucky you, right?

The last time I did an ass survey, I made a huge list of k-poppers and people could tick as many boxes as they wanted, but of course they were restricted to the selections that those boxes represented.  This time I thought I’d try doing it differently, by giving people free text fields to fill out.  Voters got to choose up to five female options and up to five male options, anyone they wanted within k-pop.  This way there would be no problem about people being upset that I left out their fave, a fairly common complaint with last year’s survey.  Another common complaint is that I neglected the male asses last time, so this time you could vote for any male ass (even though most readers didn’t).

The 2015 survey was carefully designed to prevent bias of any kind.  No lists, images or nominees were included in the survey deliberately, so as not to exploit the “power of suggestion”, and also to not unfairly advantage particular k-pop performers.  (The exception was the GIF of Qri’s ass that contained the survey link, but I didn’t mention that the ass belonged to Qri and I knew Qri wasn’t going to be one of the top contenders anyway.)  A lot of people who voted last time voted for ALL the asses (which in terms of poll effect is exactly the same as voting for no asses), so even though I had about the same amount of participants as last year there were less points across the board because the numbers aren’t being artificially inflated by people who didn’t really care and just liked ticking boxes.

The 2015 survey was also shared in a few more places than usual, because I wanted to get a broader feel for how people felt about ass than just my own readership.  Reddit/kpopfap helpfully agreed to host a link to the survey, and when that happened this changed the results across the board significantly.  Certain k-pop stars who had no showing in the poll results whatsoever under my own blog readership started heavily collecting votes once Reddit/kpopfap got involved, most notably Fiestar’s Jei and several members of Hello Venus.  The leaders also flip-flopped several times due to valuable input of Reddit/kpopfap’s seasoned perverts.  Thanks very much to them and also to fiddle.se, grey-nim, Perving On Female K-pop and all others who are documenting or fapping to k-pop ass.  This post wouldn’t exist without you… well, actually it probably would – but it wouldn’t look as good!

The results were completely up to you.  Here they are, starting from the top down, because when posting about asses we always move downward.  The winner of the Kpopalypse Ass Survey is…

#1.  SEOLHYUN – AOA

(2014 position: #22)

Seolhyun didn’t make a huge splash last year on the ass radar, but over the last 12 months the influence of the AOA camp has gradually increased and Seolhyun’s ass popularity has skyrocketed as a result.  After starting off slowly, AOA’s Seolhyun obtained a commanding lead in the survey once the Reddit/kpopfap community fired up their web browsers, but then was overtaken again several times before finally finishing the race ONE VOTE in front at 92 points!  If you didn’t want her to win and you forgot to cast your vote for the opposition, now’s the time to kick yourself, in the meantime it seems that the pretty asses are AOA!

#2. YURA – GIRL’S DAY

(2014 position: #2)

Yura had a very strong showing which probably will surprise nobody, and streaked into the lead early on in the competition with double the votes of anybody else at one point until Seolhyun gradually caught up.  Even though Girl’s Day haven’t really been rocking the ass-waving as much this year as previously, there’s no doubt that Yura’s reputation as a masterpiece of ass has by now been heavily consolidated.

#3. CHOA – AOA

(2014 position: did not chart)

Choa didn’t get on the radar whatsoever last year, but AOA’s ass-friendly dance routines and rising public profile have changed all that this time around.  With nearly 80 votes to her name, Choa shot straight into the realm of the top contenders with little effort.  Many people who voted for Seolhyun also swung a vote Choa’s way, and the gap between her and the #4 position was over 20 votes.  (It’s also possible that a few of you meant to vote for Crayon Pop’s Choa, that’s why in the survey I asked people to also specify the group name, fortunately most of you got this right.)

#4. HYOSUNG – SECRET

(2014 position: #1)

Last year’s leader (to the disbelief of many, but don’t blame me – you guys voted for her), Hyosung still picked up a strong chunk of votes for 2015.  For someone best known for her boobs, Hyosung has nevertheless continued to ingratiate herself to the world of k-pop ass-fappers to an admirable extent, especially given that good quality ass footage of Hyosung is harder to search up than you might think (because her boobs generally get in the way).

#5. DAHYE – BESTIE

(2014 position: #14)

BESTie are still languishing in nuguland to some extent, but Dahye’s ass at least seems to have found recognition.  Maybe the rest of their group will follow closely behind her behind into the mainstream of k-pop consciousness, or maybe they’ll continue to languish at the rear, but in the meantime… hey are you even reading this?

#6. YURI – GIRLS’ GENERATION

(2014 position: #5)

Yuri has retained her top-10 billing in the ass world as far as the raw data is concerned, but there’s a catch – almost everybody who voted for Yuri also included the important caveat “…but I mean the OLD Yuri, not how Yuri looks now, fuck that” or words to that effect.  Should Yuri even be included here given that her poll results are hardly relevant to 2015?  Well, you voted for her, so here she is, along with some GIFs from two years ago because apparently nobody wants to see what her ass looks like these days.

#7. HYUNYOUNG – RAINBOW

(2014 position: #20)

I’m not sure what Hyunyoung did to raise her stakes in the ass game this year.  Maybe it was all that black-swanning around on live stages, maybe their agency finally worked out how to promote Rainbow to fappers properly, or maybe something else, but who really gives a shit?  I’m too busy looking at her in the red dress above to come up with a witty conclusion to this entry so let’s just move on.

#8. SOYOU – SISTAR

(2014 position – #9)

With her group being regular high achievers in “best body” polls Internet-wide for many years, Sistar’s Soyou now reigns at the top as “the k-pop girl with the best ass in that group of k-pop girls with the best asses”.  Maybe her songwriters haven’t been able to write anything worth a shit in the last two years, but I’m willing to tolerate all those horrid “Love The Way You Lie” clones as long as Soyou gets to rock tight-fitting clothes on live stages from time to time.

#9. BORA – SISTAR

(2014 position – #3)

Soyou even beat out Bora by a vote or two.  Trufax.

#10. HYUNA – 4MINUTE

(2014 position: #8)

I don’t recall Hyuna doing much in the way of showing her ass this year, but I think people vote for her in ass polls for the same reason that people in third-world countries vote for Britney Spears or Megan Fox in beauty polls – she’s somebody they know, a recognisable brand name of fap.  They might not have seen a picture of her in three years so they don’t know she’s all different now, but once you get to that level of brand recognition where Hyuna is at, what you actually look like hardly even matters.

#11. HYOLYN – SISTAR

(2014 position: #10)

Do you know how hard it is to find recent high-quality GIFs of Hyolyn/Hyorin/however the fuck you spell it’s buttcheeks?  Harder than the penis of the judge on the right of the below GIF.  Nobody gave a shit about Dasom in this survey by the way.  Poor Dasom.

#12. TIFFANY – GIRLS’ GENERATION

(2014 position: #12)

I used to go out with a girl who had a body a bit like Tiffany’s.   Seeing her ass rotating in front of my face here gives me memories of when I rotated my face in front of that other girl’s ass, and then rotated my dick inside.  Maybe some of you have had similar experiences, it would explain Tiffany’s enduring popularity with ass voters.

#13. CL – 2NE1

(2014 position: did not chart)

No, really – how did CL even get here?  Most of you who voted for her also included “I’m not trolling, seriously, check out CL’s ass” or words to that effect, and I’ll admit that she does seem to have a finely toned rear end… but better than Minzy’s?  You folks seemed to think so, and who am I to argue?

HONORABLE MENTIONS

#14. Hani – EXID (2014: did not chart)

#15. Nada – Wa$$up (2014: #7)

#16. Minzy – 2NE1 (2014: #15)

#17. Gain – Brown Eyed Girls (2014: #32)

#18. Jei – Fiestar (2014: did not chart)

#19. Hwasa – Mamamoo (2014: did not chart)

#20. Hyomin – T-ara (2014: #4)

#21. Jiyeon – T-ara (2014: #11)

#22. Krystal – f(x) (2014: did not chart)

#23. Naeun – Apink (2014: #35)

#24. Nicole – KARA (2014: #6)

#25. Jimin – AOA (2014: did not chart)

#26. Uji – BESTie (2014: did not chart)

#27. Sunny – Girls’ Generation (2014: did not chart)

#28. Min – miss A (2014: #29)

#29. Hyejeong – AOA (2014: #41)

#30. Eunsol – Bambino (2014: did not chart)

#31. Youngji – KARA (2014: did not chart)

#32. Eunjung – T-ara (2014: #19)

#33. Qri – T-ara (2014: did not chart)

#34. Victoria – f(x) (2014: #18)

#35. Seoyoung – Hello Venus (2014: did not chart)

#36. Nari – Wa$$up (2014: did not chart)

#37. Ailee (2014: #16)

#38. NS Yoon G (2014: did not chart)

#39. Joy – Red Velvet (2014: did not chart)

#40. Minhee – Stellar (2014: #42)

#41. Bomi – Apink (2014: did not chart)

#42. Fei – miss A (2014: #17)

#43. Jaekyung – Rainbow (2014: #21)

#44. Taeyeon – Girls’ Generation (2014: did not chart)

And here’s a video compilation courtesy of isaymyeolchigr!

MALE ASSES

I wanted to do a proper poll for male asses but you guys mostly didn’t vote for any male ass at all, so that kinda fucked me up.  So much for all those claims of wanting male eye candy, I guess that was all bullshit.  On top of that, there doesn’t seem to be any equivalents of fiddle.se for men, you ass perverts need to lift your game and start some high-quality GIFfing if you want a proper Kpopalypse post!  For what it’s worth, the clear leader was…

#1. XIA JUNSU – JYJ

Junsu and his “duck butt” (what the fuck is a “duck butt”?  I don’t even know, but apparently he has one according to JYJ fans) had 59 votes, 20 in front of the nearest competitor, a huge lead.  Rest assured that SM’s evil, corrupt influence doesn’t extend to Kpopalypse’s blogging… or at least, not until they pay me!

Here’s the rest down to #13:

#2. Junho – 2PM

#3. Jimin – BTS

#4. Sehun – EXO (if this gets moved to #1 later you’ll know the money transfer from SM cleared)

#5. Minho – SHINee

#6. Shindong – Super Junior

#7. Kai – EXO

#8. Rain

#9. Doojoon – Beast

#10. TOP – BigBang

#11. Sungjong – Infinite

#12. Onew – SHINee

#13. J-Hope – BTS

After that there’s so few votes per individual that it’s barely worth even counting.

Thanks to everybody who voted for this, I appreciate your patronage.  As a bit of bonus content, if you ever wondered how people choose to answer my “Hi!  How are you?  Answer in as much or as little detail as applicable” question that I put at the start of every survey, here’s a dump of all the answers from this time around, with some comments by me (in bold text)  Kpopalypse will return again soon, but in the meantime happy reading!